opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
