Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
