I'm going to rape someone's good day.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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