Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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