tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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