Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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