I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
