Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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