it hurts more in the daytime
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
