At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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