they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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