something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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