Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
