Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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