Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want to make out with him forever
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
