ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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