Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
