Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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