I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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