it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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