But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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