He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
