Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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