So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My bed smells like the plague
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
