Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
