I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
