You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize