I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
