He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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