I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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