Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
