im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
