I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
