that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
