I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
