she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.