I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.