Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?