i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
