I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
