so explain again why im purple
no
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
