I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
