Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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