doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
