So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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