ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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