the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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