Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
