ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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