3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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