I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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