Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
