Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
