I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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