My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize