So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
