guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
