Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
