fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
