Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And then he peed in my hair
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
