it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
