I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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