people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
