In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
