I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
