Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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