I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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