Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
